We define marriage to be…

• …one man and one woman, for one lifetime (Matthew 19:4-6).
• …ordained and blessed by God as an important institution (Genesis 2:21-25).
• …a life-long binding covenant before God and society (Malachi 2:14).
• …a legal covenant initiated by a wedding ceremony that varies by generation and culture with regard to service form and type of music.
• …the only proper place for sexual intimacy (Hebrews 13:4).
• …and a reflection of the relationship between Jesus and His Church (Ephesians 5:21-33).

 We believe that in marriage many principles of the Kingdom of God are manifested. From the beginning, humanity was created male and female – in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-31) – which demonstrates the essence of marriage. The interdependence of healthy Christian community is clearly exemplified in loving one another (John 13:34), forgiving one another (Ephesians 4:32), confessing to one another (James 5:16), and submitting to one another (Ephesians 5:21). These principles find unique fulfillment in marriage. Marriage is God’s gift, a living image of the union between Christ and His Church.

 As Wabaunsee County clergy, we recognize an unprecedented need and responsibility to help couples begin, build, and sustain better marriages, and to restore those threatened by divorce. Today our nation is threatened by a high divorce rate, a rise in cohabitation, a rise in non-marital births, a decline in the marriage rate, and a diminishing interest in and readiness for marrying. The documented adverse impact of these trends on children, adults, and society is alarming.

 We are also concerned that many times there is a lack of preparation for marriage, sometimes going alongside extensive preparation for the wedding. We believe it is our responsibility to encourage couples to set aside time for marriage preparation instead of concentrating only on wedding plans. We acknowledge that a wedding is but a day; a marriage is for a lifetime.

 With these things in mind, we covenant together around the following principles….

• We strongly encourage couples preparing for marriage to work through a course of pre-marriage counseling with appropriate clergy or marriage counselors. Our goal is to help people understand what Christian marriage is all about. This should include counsel in the areas of financial management, communication, conflict resolution, children and parenting, the Christian doctrine of marriage, and relations with in-laws, family, and friends.
• We strongly discourage the practice of cohabitation apart from marriage. Couples that live together without marrying are unlikely to marry each other, and those that do tend to have higher separation and divorce rates. They also are more likely to have unhappier marriages, extramarital affairs, and a more shallow level of commitment and responsibility towards their partner. “Trial marriages” do not make for better marriages; they more commonly turn out as trial divorces.[i]
• Along these same lines, we also strongly discourage divorce. Divorce is always a sad thing, and it is often unnecessary. We strongly encourage those who are pursuing divorce or are divorced, to make sure that all avenues of reconciliation are sincerely pursued. To that end, we intend to make pastoral ministries available to Wabaunsee County couples, with the intent of building stronger marriages, and bringing about reconciliation where it is possible.
• And finally, we wish to stand behind the dignity of the Christian wedding service. We recognize that there are other avenues for couples that want something different. Those desiring a church wedding should know that it is not intended to be a secular party, but a Christian worship service of celebration that honors God, being modeled on the marriage between Jesus Christ and His Church.